I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Friday, April 28, 2006

my brother and i have decided not to buy the collector's edition of that 70's show after all. yeah, i really love the show but it's really expensive. but if anyone wants to give it to me as a gift (as if. haha), it would be greatly appreciated. I REALLY LOVE THE SHOW. except the 8th season. jackie and hyde should be together!!! gawd.

i saw a dvd of romeo + juliet earlier. it made me swoon. but i decided (with a heavy heart) against it since all i do is throw money away. there are children out there with no money to buy food or clothes and then i'm just blowing it all on pretty things. pretty things that make me happy, but still. shopping has this weird ability of making a person feel elated at one minute and selfish at the next. well, at least that's how it is for me. i wish i were super rich. then, i'd be able to afford to buy everything i want AND donate all the money i can to the poor. oh well. all i think about is money nowadays. haha. i really am superficial. i should start a club.


anyway, i feel really lonely. i mean, i hardly have anyone to talk to anymore. the only friend i talk to (regularly at least) is mau. i feel so abandoned. :



oh, and i just realized that i have 5 blogs. 2 blogger, 1 xanga, 1 multiply, 1 LJ. hahaha. blogs. haha. i'm such a freak.

screamed at 10:10 AM

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Monday, April 24, 2006

we just got back from our little spring break trip thing. GOD. i hate new york. it's like the worst place here. for me. i don't know why everyone thinks it's so special. it sucks man.
washington, however, is GREAT. i love washington!! it's so pretty. i want to live there. if i could, i'd migrate there now and forget about my life in the philippines and change my name to callantha and get a super high-paying job and have a super cool apartment and buy all the clothes i want. and i'd visit my parents every year of course. but other than that, goodbye past life!
but i can't do that at the moment.

anyway, you know the thing they say - grandparents never have favorites because they love all their grandchildren equally - ? THAT IS NOT TRUE. my grandparents definitely have a favorite. and it unfortunately isn't me. i'm suspecting it's my cousin, isha. isha's really adorable and charming and all but who am i kidding. she can be one big, spoiled, demonic brat. she can be really, really, REALLY annoying. and she screams at her parents and whines about the smallest things and cries to make her parents get mad at her brother in front of all of us but it's like my grandparent's dont notice a thing because they still baby her and buy her stuff and shit. i mean. GOD. of course i love my cousin (when she isn't being a brat) and i guess she really loves me (haha) because she keeps on wanting to hold my hand and sit beside me and play with me and because she says i'm her favorite anyway and blahblahblah. but still. it really doesn't help since i've been suspecting (for quite some time now) that my grandmother really hates me. sure, she can be kind, warm, grandmother-y to everyone else but there's just something about the way she acts towards me that makes me believe she hates me. it's like she loves every grandchild except me!! GOD!!! and to think i was her first grandchild. and she was the first to point out (without the subject being brought up) na i had gotten fatter. which is true, but still.

which brings me to my second point, I AM SO FREAKING FAT. i am one FAT, UGLY BITCH i tell you. FATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFAT!!! aaaaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i could kill myself, which really wouldn't be a bad idea because that would take a load off a lot of people. like my grandmother, for instance. (i'm not saying that my grandmother has expressed feelings of wanting to kill me) and some other people who are to remain anonymous.

yay for life! i don't know what's happening to me but i think i need to see a shrink. a real one this time. for now, i must stick to shopping for happiness.

screamed at 10:52 AM

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Thursday, April 13, 2006

10 things i want to do before summer ends

1. leave poetry in library books
2. film a documentary
3. bake cookies
4. get a new(er) haircut
5. dye the tips of my hair purple (as if my mom would let me)
6. read the dictionary
7. watch a cheesy tagalog movie with someone :))
8. learn how to play basketball
9. actually learn something from review classes
10. find someone worth falling in love with (aww, how cheesy)

screamed at 1:46 PM

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

i'm very bored. so here i have answered a survey. :D

1. First things first. Are you a girl?
> hold on a sec, i think i know the answer to that one.

2. Talking about guys, what's the first thing that
you notice when you see them?
> what they're wearing?

3. What are the physical characteristics you
consider in a guy?
> their eyes, smile and CHEEKS. :)) and hands, sometimes.

4. What are the other characteristics you like in a
guy?
> oh, my friends and i have made a loooong list of characteristics

5. Have you found your ideal man?
> no i don't think so

6. If yes, did his characteristics satisfy you?
> there is no him.

7. If there's one thing you'd ask from him, what
would it be?
> money. HAHA. joke. maybe umm...chocolate. or flowers. (i used to hate receiving flowers but now i love them. hahaha) or maybe a copy of the romeo + juliet movie and its soundtrack. :D

8. If there's one thing you'd tell a guy, what would
it be?
> i'm very picky. go away. (unless of course you're leonardo dicaprio-hot)

9. What is/are the things you hate?
> drug using, cigarette smoking perverts.

10. When they make promises to you, do you
believe in it?
> it depends.

11. If a guy asks you out, what do you say?
> no. it's awkward for me to be left alone with a guy. yuck. unless i have a friend with me. :D

12. Have you been on a date?
> with girls? yes of course. :))

13. If yes, how many times?
> so many times, i can't even count. :))

14. Do you like guys with long hair or short hair?
> whatever makes him look hotter. :)) trick question: am i superficial? :))

15. What kind of clothing style do you like for a
guy to wear?
> as long as he looks good in it. and clean.

16. How old would you want your man to be?
> old enough to know how to treat a laydeh. :))

17. What's one thing you want a guy to do for
you?
> drink poison when he finds out i'm dead. and when i wake up because i'm not really dead, i see him dying and i stab/shoot myself. sound familiar? :)) pero seriously, i want someone to watch romeo + juliet with me. :))

18. Would you want to have a boyfriend?
> maybe

19. Do you want a guy taller than you or not?
> taller of course. :)) (even when i'm wearing heels. hahahahahahaha)

20. How do you want a guy to express his
feelings for you?
> i don't want touchy-feely (haha mau). i want someone subtly sweet. (thanks mau?:)) )

21. How you do want guys dressed?
> depends

22. How do you want a guy to treat you?
> i'm not sure yet. :))

23. What do you hate about guy's way of
showing/telling his feelings?
> being too open about it. or too umm...closed? :)) wow, labo. :))

24. What would you prefer: ugly but kind or
handsome but hollowhead?
> that's a tough one. :)) i guess you can change a person's view in life/personality even if he is a "hollowhead". :))

25. If ever, would you consider your guy best
friend to be your boyfriend?
> no. yuck. that's sick.

screamed at 2:28 AM

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

i LOVE movies. especially romantic ones. (even if they make me feel very, very, VERY lonely)


if i were to be asked what movie has affected me most, (no one's asking but i'm saying so anyway) it would have to be romeo + juliet. (yes, the one with leo dicaprio and claire danes) not because leonardo dicaprio was incredibly hot in that movie; (well, maybe that played a little part in my reaction to the movie) but because of the words, the music, the characters, and basically the concept of their tragic ending. it MOVES you. i could actually feel the emotion in each line and touch and look. GOD. i'm such a hopeless romantic. but still. i love the movie. you just fall in love with every encounter romeo and juliet have. it made me cry.

another movie i have watched, (just a few hours ago actually) which also um, moved me, would be before sunset. at first i thought it was the prequel of after the sunset because, well, it definitely sounds like it's the prequel. turns out before sunset is actually the sequel of before sunrise. (which i have got to watch. i don't think i'll be able to fully appreciate the movie unless i've watched the first one)
anyway, a few minutes into the movie, i began to think that it was kind of boring because it basically just revolved around a conversation between two people. in fact, that was the whole movie. just the two of them talking until the end. (which really surprised me because it was only about an hour and 20 minutes long; and i watched the credits roll by, thinking that something must come after the credits at least. but nothing came) i'm not saying it was a bad film. the script was great. maybe they did ramble a bit but that's what makes the story seem so real. and like claire danes and leonardo dicaprio, you could feel their characters. like they weren't 2 people payed to act like they were ex-lovers who lost contact and never forgot about each other ever since. they were real people who meant what they said and did.


haha, i'm such a dork.


anyway, if you want to read the script of before sunset, here's a link. it has a few errors and it doesn't really indicate which character said the lines but here.


3 cheers for hopeless romantics.


* i love the song kissing you by des'ree. if a song could make me cry, this would be the one. it really captures the whole essence of the romeo + juliet movie. i want a copy of the soundtrack. :D

screamed at 12:05 PM

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Monday, April 10, 2006

yay we're back!


i shopped till i dropped. :D and i wasted a lot of money.

but still, i'm happy. shopping is a girl's best friend.




ANYWAY,

we went to mass earlier. wow ha. their church is like so sosyal. so it made the whole Palm Sunday experience....cooler i guess.
they had a basket (or two....or three) of palms at the front of the door to the Church (but not outside the church mismo) but they were all simple and boring, unlike the ones in the Philippines. but still, they were free. haha. :P

and then, there was this family, all dressed up. the little boy was so adorable! he had a tux on. hayy. :">

and while we were eating lunch earlier, the hottest nerdy guy ever walked in, with his mom. God. he just had that video game-playing, comic book-reading, mom-loving aura about him. and he was so hot. gawd. nerds are hot. :))


oh, and umm... 6, or 5? (i'm not sure) days before my birthday!


sweet 16, here i come.






speaking of birthdays, have a happy one diane! i love you! :*

screamed at 12:19 PM

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Friday, April 07, 2006

rrrr we're going to boston tomorrow...
rrrr i probably wont be able to go on line for the weekend.
rrrr we went shopping again today.
rrrr i wish i bought those pair of shoes...
rrrr and that pretty bag.
rrrr but i already bought a lot of things.
rrrr my head hurts...
rrrr a lot.
rrrr and i feel sick.
rrrr my nails are now hot pink.
rrrr i am still miserable.
rrrr i want more money.
rrrr i am freaked out.
rrrr i miss ___. but i certainly don't miss loads of other ____'s. heck, the first ___ is the only person i miss.
rrrr haha i suck.
rrrr and i keep on growling.


rrrr. rrrr. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


oh look. a knife! just one super swift plunge of the super shiny, super sharp blade and off to deathland for you. oh dear. oh gosh. oh my.

i'm sorry Lord.

screamed at 10:36 AM

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